Feminism’s Hidden Truth: A Conversation
(Interview with Professor Janice Fiamengo)
Listen To the ‘Love & Cherish’ Podcast
Feminism is a Force for Good?
“Feminism has always been a force for good and equality.” Is that really true?
In this conversation with retired Professor Janice Fiamengo, we examine feminism’s actual origins, its pervasive influence on modern relationships, and why so many men and women are waking up to a very different reality than what we’ve been told.
Professor Janice Fiamengo, creator of The Fiamengo Files video series and author of Sons of Feminism, joins me for an unflinching look at how feminist ideology has shaped our attitudes toward men, marriage, and family life. From classrooms teaching children that men are the problem, to therapy rooms filled with women who’ve been taught to fear and distrust their husbands, we explore how these ideas have taken root and what the cost has been to both sexes.
This conversation challenges the narrative that feminism’s only critics are those who hate women or want to deny them opportunities. Instead, we examine the historical record, question why certain perspectives have been suppressed, and ask what happens to societies that tell men they don’t matter.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode
Why feminism was never really about equality (the historical evidence)
Janice takes us back to 1848’s Declaration of Sentiments, feminism’s founding document, revealing the rage and false claims at its core. She shows how men signed this declaration admitting to tyranny they never committed, and how feminist demands have repeatedly been met while gratitude remains absent.
How anti-male messaging appears everywhere (schools, therapy, media)
From my own son’s classroom being asked to write letters about gender inequality, to boys encountering almost no male role models in education, we explore the pervasive nature of feminist ideology and its impact on children and families.
The victim mentality and why it’s so appealing (and so destructive)
Janice explains how victimhood provides identity, moral authenticity, and freedom from responsibility. She shares research on the “victim personality” and why this worldview, while exhilarating, leeches away empathy and prevents us from building just societies.
What happens when women lose faith in men
We discuss the real-world consequences when feminist ideology convinces women that men are dangerous, uncaring, and oppressive—and how this destroys the collaborative bond essential for healthy marriages and child development.
The natural order of family life and why it matters
Janice and I reflect on the evidence that children thrive best in loving homes where parents respect and cherish one another, and why any ideology that destabilizes this foundation should deeply concern us.
How to recognize feminist ideology in your own thinking
Even women who don’t identify as feminists have often absorbed the general mindset that everything is owed to them and very little is owed in return. We discuss how to identify these patterns and their impact on relationships.
Why restoring faith between the sexes is essential
If we tell men they don’t matter, what happens to our societies? We explore the demoralization of men, the crisis of empathy for boys and men, and why mutual caring is the only route to true happiness.
The good news: men don’t actually want to harm women
This should be received as wonderful news, yet many women resist hearing it. We discuss why men’s concern, empathy, and desire to protect women contradicts feminism’s fundamental premise—and why that’s threatening to the victim narrative.
What a life centered on family and gratitude actually looks like
I share my own journey from growing up with feminist influences to discovering profound gratitude through marriage and motherhood, and how raising my son shattered any remaining negativity toward men.
Why psychological problems shouldn’t be blamed on an entire sex
We discuss how harboring dreadful feelings about the opposite sex is a psychological and emotional problem that belongs in therapy, not in public policy or cultural narratives.
Key Quotes from This Episode
On feminism’s true nature:
“The terms ‘love’ and ‘cherish’ almost never come up, particularly when applied to men. And that was the thing that began to niggle at me… It seemed to me that feminism actually brought out the worst in women, exacerbating the qualities in feminine nature that are not conducive to social flourishing.”
On the contradiction at feminism’s heart:
“If it were true that men were actually, as feminists claim they are, it would be useless to make those demands, because the men would not respond. And instead, feminists have repeatedly made various demands at the same time as they have made these claims about male tyranny. And their demands have been met repeatedly over and over again.”
On what women owe men:
“I used to ask this: what do women owe men? Do they owe them anything? Any gratitude? Any caring? Any justice? Do women care about the issues that affect men? The fact that 95% of the prison population in the West is male. 97% of workplace fatalities are male. 80% of suicides are male. 80% of the homeless are male.”
On the victim mentality:
“Many women take deep exhilarating pleasure in seeing themselves as victims. That becomes their identity… The victim is not responsible for anything she’s done wrong, for any failures in her life. It’s somebody else’s responsibility. So she is unimpeachable and pure.”
On men’s response to feminist ideology:
“I would look out over the sea of faces of the students in my class and I would see all these boys… They were eager to hear about women’s issues. They were being lectured to over and over again about male oppressiveness and I did not see it in them. They were keen to form partnerships with women to create a good society.”
On building a just society:
“I don’t believe that collective vengeance is a way to build a just society… I think it is long past time to stop talking as if women have been oppressed and to start talking about how we can work together as men and women to build a good society.”
On the loss of virtue:
“We don’t have a notion of goodness anymore and we certainly don’t have a notion of self-sacrifice for women, self-discipline, actually not pursuing every desire or every whim but thinking about what is best for one’s family, being loyal.”
On the good news:
“It is overwhelmingly clear to me that’s how men respond when women talk about their issues. And so why are women not willing to hear that good news of men’s concern and men’s empathy and men’s desire to protect women and create a society in which women can flourish and be happy.”
On caring as maturity:
“Caring for other people requires huge amounts of time and energy and effort… whether it’s your children, your dog, or your spouse, you actually have to do many things for people if you actually care about their wellbeing… that’s an essential aspect of a life well lived. And it’s perhaps an aspect of real maturity.”
On hope for the future:
“Younger generations are much more skeptical of feminist claims, especially amongst boys. Boys are getting tired of being told what they have to do and who they are and who they must respect… I do think there is a rebellion of boys happening.”
My Reflections
This conversation with Janice was both sobering and strangely hopeful. As someone who works daily with couples whose marriages are suffering under the weight of cultural lies about men and women, I see the damage Janice describes everywhere.
When my 13-year-old son came home and told me his entire class was asked to write letters to the Prime Minister asking him to work harder at providing equality for men and women, but that he’d asked to write instead about the higher levels of suicide, homelessness, and workplace deaths among men—I saw firsthand how deeply this ideology has penetrated even our children’s education.
What strikes me most powerfully is Janice’s point about the contradiction at the heart of feminism: if men truly were the tyrants feminists claim them to be, they wouldn’t respond to feminist demands. But they have responded, repeatedly, throughout history. Men signed the Declaration of Sentiments admitting to tyranny they never committed. Men have granted every major change feminists have demanded. This reveals something beautiful about male nature, and something deeply dishonest about feminist claims.
As a therapist, I recognize immediately what Janice describes as the “victim personality.” It’s one of the most difficult presenting issues to work with because it’s so resistant to growth. The victim is off the hook—she doesn’t have to take responsibility for her behavior, doesn’t have to do the hard work of caring for others, can blame all her failures on external forces. It’s an appealing worldview, which is precisely why it’s so dangerous.
The most heartbreaking aspect of this conversation is thinking about the boys and men who absorb the message that they are the problem, that they need to apologize, that their role is simply to step back and support women. We are creating a generation of demoralized men who don’t know their own worth, who’ve been denied role models, who struggle to find purpose beyond serving women’s interests.
Yet there is hope. As Janice notes, younger generations are waking up. My own journey from absorbing feminist ideas to discovering profound gratitude for my husband and son shows that minds can change when confronted with reality. The simple truth is that men don’t want to harm women; they want to protect and cherish them. That should be wonderful news. The question is why so many refuse to hear it.
I think of my son’s post-it notes on my monitor: “Keep up the good work” and “I love you, Mum.” The loyalty, protectiveness, and love he shows me is staggering. This is the reality of male nature that feminism denies. And it’s time we started telling the truth about it.
Resources and Where to Find Janice
Professor Janice Fiamengo’s Work:
- The Fiamengo Files (YouTube): https://www.youtube.com/@StudioBrule
- Substack Newsletter: https://fiamengofile.substack.com/
- Book: Sons of Feminism
Order You Copy of ‘Son’s of Feminism’ Here:
Sons of Feminism: Men Have Their Say
“Sons of Feminism” is the sister book to “Daughters of Feminism,” edited by David Shackleton. Feminist leaders tell us that men are entitled and powerful. Janice Fiamengo actually asked men what it is like to be male in a feminist culture–and they responded.
These 25 stories may surprise you with their accounts of men belittled, disliked, dismissed, blamed, falsely accused, and discriminated against under law—all while being expected to apologize for their “male privilege.” The volume includes a substantial introduction by the editor, Janice Fiamengo, and an Appendix of Recommended Reading.
Recommended Reading Mentioned:
- Who Stole Feminism by Christina Hoff Sommers
- Heterophobia: Sexual Harassment and the Future of Feminism by Daphne Patai
- Books by Warren Farrell (previous podcast guest)
- The Declaration of Sentiments (1848) – available online
Research Mentioned:
- Israeli research on the victim personality
- Studies on women’s decreasing life satisfaction since the 1970s
- Statistics on male suicide, homelessness, workplace fatalities, and incarceration
- Evidence on children’s outcomes when raised without fathers
Take Action
If you’re struggling in your marriage:
Could Your Relationship Use Some Support?
Book an Online Coaching Session with me
Laura How
Relationship Counsellor & Coach
If this conversation resonated with you:
Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it. The more people who understand the true nature of feminist ideology and its impact on relationships, the more we can work together to restore faith between the sexes.
If you’re a woman harbouring negative feelings toward men:
Consider whether this might be a psychological issue worth exploring in therapy with a balanced therapist who has predominantly positive feelings for the human race in general.
If you’re raising boys:
Love them. Show them what goodness looks like. Give them examples of virtue and purpose beyond apologizing for their sex. Help them understand that caring for others—including women—is part of being a good man, but that this doesn’t require accepting false accusations or collective guilt.
If you’re a man who’s been demoralized:
You matter. Your contributions matter. Your concerns matter. Don’t let an ideology built on resentment and false claims define your worth or your future.
The path forward requires mutual caring, genuine equality, and a restoration of faith between the sexes. It requires rejecting victimhood in favor of virtue, entitlement in favor of gratitude, and collective blame in favor of individual responsibility.
As Janice so powerfully puts it, we need to recognize feminism as the hate ideology it truly is and commit instead to building a society that is good for raising children—which requires both mothers and fathers to be valued, respected, and present.
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