Book Recommendations

seven principles for making marriage work

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

John M. Gottman, PH.D.

The revolutionary guide to show couples how to create an emotionally intelligent relationship – and keep it on track

Straightforward in its approach, yet profound in its effect, the principles outlined in this book teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work.

Gottman has scientifically analysed the habits of married couples and established a method of correcting the behaviour that puts thousands of marriages on the rocks. He helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr Gottman’s workshops, this is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.

hold me tight

Hold Me Tight

Dr. Sue Johnson

Heralded by the New York Times and Time magazine as the couple therapy with the highest rate of success, Emotionally Focused Therapy works because it views the love relationship as an attachment bond. This idea, once controversial, is now supported by science, and has become widely popular among therapists around the world. In HOLD ME TIGHT, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to re-establish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond. With this in mind, she focuses on key moments in a relationship-from Recognizing the Demon Dialogue to Revisiting a Rocky Moment-and uses them as touchpoints for seven healing conversations. Through case studies from her practice, illuminating advice, and practical exercises, couples will learn how to nurture their relationships and ensure a lifetime of love. 

his needs her needs

His Needs, Her Needs

Willard F. Harley, Jr.

‘This book will educate you in the care of your spouse,’ explains Dr Willard Harley. ‘Once you have learned its lessons, your spouse will find you irresistible, a condition that’s essential to a happy and successful marriage.’

This fresh and highly entertaining book identifies the ten most important needs within marriage for husbands and wives. It teaches you how to fulfil each other’s needs. Couples who find each other irresistible during the early years of their marriage may become incompatible if they fail to meet these central needs. According to Dr Harley, the needs of men and women are similar, but their priorities are vastly different.

Are you able to identify which of the following needs are his and which are hers? In what order would you place them? Admiration, Affection, An attractive spouse, Conversation, Domestic support, Family commitment, Financial support, Honesty and openness, Recreational companionship, Sexual fulfilment.

the heart of tantric

The Heart of Tantric Sex

Diana Richardson

‘One of the most revolutionary books on sexuality ever written.’ Ruth Ostrow, Sex, Relationship and Spirituality journalist, News Ltd.

After many years of exploration, Diana Richardson found that the ancient practice of Tantra, with its unique, intelligent approach to sex, had the effect of enhancing intimacy and deepening love. Here she has adapted Tantra for modern Western lovers in a practical, sympathetic way. Tantric Sex can transform your experience into a more sensual, loving and fulfilling one.
First published in 2003, the bestselling Heart of Tantric Sex has become the standard in its field.

the sex starved marriage

The Sex-Starved Marriage

Michele Weiner Davis

Bring the spark back into your bedroom and your relationship with gutsy and effective advice from bestselling author Michele Weiner Davis. It is estimated that one of every three married couples struggles with problems associated with mismatched sexual desire. If you want to stop fighting about sex and revitalize your intimate connection with your spouse, then you need this book. In “The Sex-Starved Marriage,” bestselling author Michele Weiner Davis will help you understand why being complacent or bitter about ho-hum sex might cost you your relationship. Full of moving first-hand accounts from couples who have struggled with the erosion of sexual desire and rebuilt their passionate connection, “The Sex-Starved Marriage” addresses every aspect of the sexual libido problem.

the road less travelled

The Road Less Travelled

M. Scott Peck

Confronting and solving problems is a painful process which most of us attempt to avoid. And the very avoidance results in greater pain and an inability to grow both mentally and spiritually.

Drawing heavily on his own professional experience, leading psychiatrist Dr M. Scott Peck suggests ways in which facing our difficulties – and suffering through the changes – can enable us to reach a higher level of self-understanding. He discusses the nature of loving relationships: how to recognise true compatibility, how to distinguish dependency from love, how to become one’s own person, and how to be a more sensitive parent. This is the bestselling self-help book that will change the way you live, and love, for good.

dopamine nation

Dopamine Nation

Dr. Anna Lembke

We are a wired generation. In these fast-paced times we are constantly bombarded by high-reward, high-dopamine stimuli. From texting to social media, food to drugs, gambling to shopping, we have become addicted to fleeting and distracting pleasures that are making us sick.

In Dopamine Nationpsychiatrist and bestselling author Dr Anna Lembke reveals why our relentless pursuit of pleasure leads to pain and what we can do about it. Bringing together cutting-edge neuroscience with the gripping real life experiences from her clinical practice, Lembke explores how contentment and connectedness are essential tools in keeping dopamine in check. This is an essential book for anyone wanting to find a balance for a happier life.

mans search for meaning

Man’s Search for Meaning

Victor E. Frankl

Viktor E. Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning is a classic work of Holocaust literature that has riveted generations of readers. Like Anne Frank’s Diary of a Young Girl and Elie Wiesel’s Night, Frankl’s masterpiece is a timeless examination of life in the Nazi death camps. At the same time, Frankl’s universal lessons for coping with suffering and finding one’s purpose in life offer an unforgettable message for readers seeking solace and guidance. This young adult edition features the entirety of Frankl’s Holocaust memoir and an abridged version of his writing on psychology, supplemented with photographs, a map of the concentration camps, a glossary of terms, a selection of Frankl’s letters and speeches, and a timeline of his life and of important events in the Holocaust. These supplementary materials vividly bring Frankl’s story to life, serving as valuable teaching and learning tools. A foreword by renowned novelist John Boyne provides a stirring testament to the lasting power of Frankl’s moral vision.

the prophet

The Prophet

Kahlil Gibran

The timeless in you is aware of life’s timelessness. And knows that yesterday is but today’s memory and tomorrow is today’s dream.

Through the voice of the prophet AL Mustafa, Kahlil Gibran touches on the many intricacies of life and the human condition. Love, marriage, children, friendship, joy and sorrow — just a sample of the wide ranging thoughts that effortlessly touch on the mind and soul.

An inspiration to millions of people, The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran is widely considered to be a masterpiece of spiritual poetry. This book contains all twelve original drawings Gibran created specifically for The Prophet upon its first publication.

why love matters

Why Love Matters

Sue Gerhardt

Why Love Matters explains why loving relationships are essential to brain development in the early years, and how these early interactions can have lasting consequences for future emotional and physical health. This second edition follows on from the success of the first, updating the scientific research, covering recent findings in genetics and the mind/body connection, and including a new chapter highlighting our growing understanding of the part also played by pregnancy in shaping a baby’s future emotional and physical well-being.

When things go wrong with relationships in early life, the dependent child has to adapt; what we now know is that his or her brain adapts too. The brain’s emotion and immune systems are particularly affected by early stress and can become less effective. This makes the child more vulnerable to a range of later difficulties such as depression, anti-social behaviour, addictions or anorexia, as well as physical illness.

the alchemist

The Alchemist

Paulo Coelho

Combining magic, mysticism, wisdom and wonder into an inspiring tale of self-discovery, The Alchemist has become a modern classic, selling millions of copies around the world and transforming the lives of countless readers across generations.

Paulo Coelho’s masterpiece tells the mystical story of Santiago, an Andalusian shepherd boy who yearns to travel in search of a worldly treasure. His quest will lead him to riches far different–and far more satisfying–than he ever imagined. Santiago’s journey teaches us about the essential wisdom of listening to our hearts, of recognizing opportunity and learning to read the omens strewn along life’s path, and, most importantly, to follow our dreams.

12 rules for life

12 Rules for Life

Jordan B. Peterson

Acclaimed clinical psychologist Jordan Peterson has influenced the modern understanding of personality, and now he has become one of the world’s most popular public thinkers, with his lectures on topics from the Bible to romantic relationships to mythology drawing tens of millions of viewers. In an era of unprecedented change and polarizing politics, his frank and refreshing message about the value of individual responsibility and ancient wisdom has resonated around the world.

In this book, he provides twelve profound and practical principles for how to live a meaningful life, from setting your house in order before criticising others to comparing yourself to who you were yesterday, not someone else today. Happiness is a pointless goal, he shows us. Instead we must search for meaning, not for its own sake, but as a defence against the suffering that is intrinsic to our existence.

a return to love

A Return To Love

Marianne Williamson

A Return to Love is based on the author’s experiences as a teacher and lecturer on the self-study guide A Course in Miracles. She explains how applying the principles of love to all difficulties can aid in healing and bring about a personal transformation of the reader.

In this practical guide, she reveals how you can bring universal spiritual principles into your everyday life by accepting God and expressing love. Whether your ‘pain’ is in the area of relationships, career, health or emotions, this book shows you how love is the key to inner peace, and how by practising love we can make our own lives more fulfilling while creating a more peaceful and loving world for our children.

no more mr nice guy

No More Mr Nice Guy

Dr. Robert Glover

Originally published as an e-book that became a controversial media phenomenon, No More Mr. Nice Guy! landed its author, a certified marriage and family therapist, on The O’Reilly Factor and the Rush Limbaugh radio show. Dr. Robert Glover has dubbed the “Nice Guy Syndrome” trying too hard to please others while neglecting one’s own needs, thus causing unhappiness and resentfulness. It’s no wonder that unfulfilled Nice Guys lash out in frustration at their loved ones, claims Dr. Glover. He explains how they can stop seeking approval and start getting what they want in life, by presenting the information and tools to help them ensure their needs are met, to express their emotions, to have a satisfying sex life, to embrace their masculinity and form meaningful relationships with other men, and to live up to their creative potential.

Iron John

Iron John

Robert Bly

Robert Bly writes that it is clear to men that the images of adult manhood given by popular culture are worn out, that a man can no longer depend on them. Iron John searches for a new vision of what a man is or could be, drawing on psychology, anthropology, mythology, folklore and legend. Robert Bly looks at the importance of the Wild Man (reminiscent of the Wild Woman in Women Who Run With the Wolves), who he compares to a Zen priest, a shaman or a woodman.

‘This book needs to be read, I believe, not as a dry work of scholarship to be judged coolly by the mind, but as the work of a poet struggling to convey an emotional experience and lead us to what he has found within himself’ Guardian

‘Eclectic and unclassifiable. Iron John is a work whose mentors are the prophetic poets and crazies, William Blake and Walt Whitman’ Sydney Morning Herald

women who run with the wolves

Women Who Run With The Wolves

Clarissa Pinkola Estes

In the classic Women Who Run With The Wolves, Clarissa Pinkola Estes tells us about the ‘wild woman’, the wise and ageless presence in the female psyche that gives women their creativity, energy and power. For centuries, the ‘wild woman’ has been repressed by a male-orientated value system which trivialises women’s emotions. Using a combination of time-honoured stories and contemporary casework, Estes reveals that the ‘wild woman’ in us is innately healthy, passionate and wise.

Thoughtfully written and compelling in its arguments, Women Who Run With The Wolves gives readers a new sense of direction, a self confidence and purpose in their lives.

eating by the light of the moon

Eating By The Light of The Moon

Anita Johnston, PH.D.

By weaving practical insights and exercises through a rich tapestry of multicultural myths, ancient legends, and folktales, Anita Johnston helps the millions of women preoccupied with their weight discover and address the issues behind their negative attitudes toward food.

the courage to heal

The Courage To Heal

Ellen Bass & Laura Davis

Come to terms with your past while moving powerfully into the future The Courage to Heal is an inspiring, comprehensive guide that offers hope and a map of the healing journey to every woman who was sexually abused as a child—and to those who care about her. Although the effects of child sexual abuse are long-term and severe, healing is possible. Weaving together personal experience with professional knowledge, the authors provide clear explanations, practical suggestions, and support throughout the healing process. Readers will feel recognized and encouraged by hundreds of moving first-person stories drawn from interviews and the authors’ extensive work with survivors, both nationally and internationally. This completely revised and updated 20th anniversary edition continues to provide the compassionate wisdom the book has been famous for, as well as many new Cherished by survivors, and recommended by therapists and institutions everywhere.

complex ptsd

Complex PTSD

Pete Walker

Pete Walker has Complex PTSD and wrote this book from the perspective of someone who has experienced a great reduction of symptoms over the years. He also wrote it from the viewpoint of someone who has discovered many silver linings in the long, windy, bumpy road of recovering from CPTSD. He felt encouraged to write this book because of thousands of e-mail responses to the articles on his website that repeatedly expressed gratitude for the helpfulness of his work.

The causes of CPTSD range from severe neglect to monstrous abuse. Many survivors grow up in houses that are not homes – in families that are as loveless as orphanages and sometimes as dangerous. If you felt unwanted, unliked, rejected, hated and/or despised for a lengthy portion of your childhood, trauma may be deeply engrained in your mind, soul and body. This book is a practical, user-friendly self-help guide to recovering from the lingering effects of childhood trauma, and to achieving a rich and fulfilling life.

the body keeps the score

The Body Keeps The Score

Bessel Van Der Kolk

Trauma is a fact of life. Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world’s foremost experts on trauma, has spent over three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust. He explores innovative treatments—from neurofeedback and meditation to sports, drama, and yoga—that offer new paths to recovery by activating the brain’s natural neuroplasticity. Based on Dr. van der Kolk’s own research and that of other leading specialists, The Body Keeps the Score exposes the tremendous power of our relationships both to hurt and to heal—and offers new hope for reclaiming lives.

healing the child within

Healing The Child Within

Charles L. Whitefield m.D.

Dr. Whitfield provides a clear and effective introduction to the basic principles of recovery. This book is a modern classic, as fresh and useful today as it was more than a decade ago when first published. Here, frontline physician and therapist Charles Whitfield describes the process of wounding that the Child Within (True Self) experiences and shows how to differentiate the True Self from the false self. He also describes the core issues of recovery and more. Other writings on this topic have come and gone, while Healing the Child Within has remained a strong introduction to recognizing and healing from the painful effects of childhood trauma. Highly recommended by therapists and survivors of trauma.

on gried grieving

On Grief & Grieving

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross & David Kessler

One of the most important psychological studies of the late twentieth century,OnDeath and Dyinggrew out of Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s famous interdisciplinary seminar on death, life and transition. In this remarkable book, Dr. Kubler-Ross first explores the now-famous stages of death: denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Through sample interviews and conversations, she gives the reader a better understanding of how imminent death affects the patient, the professionals who serve that patient, and the patient’s family, bringing hope to all who are involved. This new edition will include an introduction by Dr. Ira Byock, a prominent palliative care physican and the author of Dying Well.

life after loss

Life After Loss

Bob Deits, M. Th.

Loss can be overwhelming. After a loved one’s death, a divorce, an injury or disease, or other major life change, recovery often seems daunting, if not impossible. With great compassion and insight, Bob Deits provides practical exercises for navigating the uncertain terrain of loss and grief. With a new chapter on sudden losses, guidance on using technology to foster connection and maintain support networks, and significant changes throughout reflecting Deits’s ongoing counselling experience, Life after Loss helps readers find positive ways to put together a life that is necessarily different but equally meaningful.

between therapist and client

Between Therapist and Client

Michael Kahn

In “Between Therapist and Client, ” Michael Kahn explores what is perhaps the most important aspect of therapy – the therapist-client relationship. As he traces the history of the clinical relationship from Freud to the present, Kahn shows how the enmity between the humanists and the psychoanalysts limited their therapeutic effectiveness – and how their recent reconciliation has opened up exciting new possibilities for the way therapists relate to clients, pointing to a promising new period in the history of psychotherapy.